Why Should I Join Your Group Anyway? Part #1

OK my friend – buckle your seat belts and observe the NO SMOKING signs. Today I’m climbing on my soapbox. BUT, I promise you, in the end you will appreciate what I’m saying and you’re even going to agree with me – I hope! 😉

You see, lately I’ve been getting a rash of emails that are really annoying, to put it mildly.

On a daily basis, I get boatloads of honest, well-meaning people showing up in my inbox, posting on my group and profile Walls – trying to get me join their group or become a friend or be part of their business opportunity and get amazingly RICH.

In principle, there’s nothing wrong with asking others to join you in your program or to develop partnerships or Joint Ventures. That’s at the core of building a business.

It’s no different than someone desiring to get married – at some point you’re going to have to pop the magic question – WILL YOU MARRY ME? But you wouldn’t show up at your sweethearts’ doorstep on the first date and drop such a question?

Would you? Not if you’re hoping to someday live in wedded bliss.

But that’s exactly what you’re doing when the first message I get from you is all about you and what you want and need from me, without ever seeking to develop rapport with me.

There’s no doubt that in order for you to be able to establish any kind of dialog with your Facebook Friends,  you’ve got get them into a group or a mailing list external to FB. That way, you can stay in contact with them, share ideas and even conduct business with each other.

But when you’re approaching me (or others), be a little more professional and leave the gimmicks and stunts for the circus. Just the other day, an individual tried to lure me into his group with the most mind boggling stunt I’ve seen so far. This well-meaning person made a bold promise that if his group reaches a 1,000 members he would have a gender change operation.

Come on – get real… and his group was listed in the business category? That does nothing for me – that’s all about him. Most people aren’t motivated by only helping you out. They have to see something in it for them as well.

In the next post I’ll talk more about giving value to people so they’ll come knocking at your door, rather than you having to chase after them.

Before I go, please don’t get me wrong. I’m not intending to be mean-spirited or to put others down.  If I’ve offended you or your best friend, don’t hold it against me. A lot of what I’m seeing is really funny. But at the same time, I know the folks using these techniques are serious and aren’t getting the results they’re seeking.

If you’ve had a wild and crazy offer to join someone’s group, please post it below. At this point I need a real big laugh.  😉


Jim Turner


8 Responses to Why Should I Join Your Group Anyway? Part #1

  1. Zoey Jordan says:

    Hi Jim,
    Thanks for touching on this topic! I too have become overwhelmed with the number of invites to join this group, that group…all promising I can get RICH! Wow, if I were born yesterday, or even last week, maybe I’d fall for it. I find it annoying! And like you, I have no interest in joining a group b/c when the group leader reaches a certain friend level, they’ll be rich, tell their spouse “see, I told you so” or anything along those lines. I want to network and make authentic connections to learn from others, share my services, and expand my online portfolio. I don’t want to be on another spam email list, and when people us FB in an abusive way, which I think this stuff is…all they are doing is harvesting their own email list without having me opt-in. Okay, off my soap box. Thanks again Jim!

  2. making, creating and maintaining a group is an ongoing job. and it’s not always easy… i know this because of the few that i personally run.

    a few people i have spoken to this week have all said they have “done the housework” on their group selections and deleted a number. it’s no wonder when some (group managers) spam, some say nothing and some are just plain weird at the end of the day!! it’s a fine line getting it right, but exceptionally rewarding when the group GROWs and we develop friendships along the way.

    keep up the good work Jim… am loving your thoughts. spot on!! xc

  3. David Burns says:

    Thanks Jim for your rant. I liked, and agreed with everything you said. I am new to Facebook and I have resisted joining the network for at least a year because of the very things you outlined in your blog. It seems nowadays, everyone is bent on selling themselves as a product (maybe too many self-help books out there?). Empowerment is a popular topic these days. Getting rich is another popular venture. I am seeking self-empowerment and enrichment as an individual, and your writing is on the right track.

    Your message answered the question (topic).

    Be well,

    David Burns

  4. Jim Turner says:

    Zoey, Charlie and David –

    thanks for your comments. I didn’t think I was in the boat alone. I hope yo come back for Pt 2.

    ~Jim Turner

  5. Hi Jim…I am in the same boat and share in your rant. I think many of us who are active and higher profile on the networks do. We’re easier targets and so we see a higher frequency of these kinds of messages. It’s very easy to spot what’s an invitation to join a quality group versus an invitation to occupy a seat in front of a virtual “billboard” (of varying quality). The grass roots networks (not supported by a major brand) that I am more attracted to are ones with strong leadership and moderation. The leader is actively engaged in the quality of the members and the content being brought forth. This can primarily happen if the leader is making a diligent effort to get to know his/her members directly – at least in the beginning until some critical mass is reached. That said, it’s all easier said than done as I am finding while building a network sponsored by/for my company. If we stray, rant away…I’ll be all ears! Great post Jim, thanks.

  6. […] Should I Join Your Group Anyway? Part #2 In my last post I was somewhat critical of well-meaning folks loading up my inbox with numerous group requests  […]

  7. evidencesx says:

    Hi Jim, you’re right, and because of profusion of social networks, we try to cope with that hard reality. And make difference between, professionals and funny networks so long, which is the best way to stay for a long time in interesting topics. I must admit that lots of folks are only there for…fun, make a try, moaning around…that’s all. But we know all, social media is a serious piece of world ; and we always have to keep the things right, when we see people crossing the yellow line.
    Thx for your work, have a nice day.

  8. Really appreciate your comments. It’s like everyone is selling, and even worse, no one is “listening.” I try to help others in my network achieve their goals, whether they are part of my organization or not. I appreciate using all the social media as a possible business platform, and yes, I do also connect with friends and family here as well.

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